Gary Beck has spent most of his adult life as a theater director and worked as an art dealer when he couldn’t earn a living in the theater. He has also been a tennis pro, a ditch digger and a salvage diver. His original plays and translations of Moliere, Aristophanes and Sophocles have been produced Off Broadway. His poetry, fiction and essays have appeared in hundreds of literary magazines and his published books include 39 poetry collections, 14 novels, 4 short story collections, 2 collection of essays and 8 books of plays. Gary lives in New York City.

I Like Eyck

A one act play

(A room in an art gallery. Well known reproductions of masterpiece paintings are hung in plain frames, either mounted on the walls, on poles, or on easels. The director is at his desk. enter Mr. Van Emery. The director rises and greets him.)

Director:                      Ah. Mr. Van Emery. Welcome. I’m so glad you could come.

Emery:                         Yes. Well I’m quite busy. You said you had something special to

                                    show me. (He looks around the room at the paintings, and inspects

one or two more closely.) I didn’t know that you dealt in reproductions.

Director:                      I don’t.

Emery:                         Then what are these? You’re not going to tell me that these are

                                    originals? (He laughs. The director joins in)

Director:                      Of course not. They’re samples. But they could be.

Emery:                         What will you do, wave your magic wand, say abracadabra,

                                    and make them original?

Director:                      Not exactly.

Emery:                         My time is very valuable. I think you better get to the point.

Director:                      What would you say if I told you that I could offer you major old

                                    master paintings that you would love to possess?

Emery:                         I’d say you were crazy, or working with an art theft ring. Unlike

                                    some collectors, I don’t buy stolen paintings. Now if you don’t tell

                                    me why you’ve invited me here immediately, I’m leaving.

Director:                      How would you like to own your favorite Van Eyck, the diptych    that’s

at the Metropolitan Museum of Art?

Emery:                         Why don’t you ask if I’d like to own the moon? This is ridiculous.

                                    You’ve lost a good client with this foolishness.

Director:                      Hear me out, please. If when I’m through you’re not satisfied, I’ll

                                    never contact you again.

Emery:                         You seem very sure of yourself. Remember. I don’t buy stolen

                                    paintings. Ever.

Director:                      I’m not talking about stolen paintings. This is a bit complicated,    but I’ll try to keep it simple. A brilliant physicist, Doctor

                                    Fabricant, of the Nucleonic Institute, designed a binary particle

                                    accelerator….

Emery:                         I’m not here for a science lecture.

Director:                      Just another minute and you’ll understand. A well know curator

brought Doctor Fabricant a disputed Rembrandt to try to verify its authenticity. During the inspection process, a fusion bombardment produced an identical copy of the painting.

Emery:                         (Van Emery shook his head in disgust.) This is preposterous. Only living things reproduce themselves. Everyone knows that. What kind of nonsense are you telling me?

Director:                      Patience, please. Just another minute and you’ll understand. A panel of experts was brought in; distinguished scientists,

curators, and art historians to analyze the event. After a thorough investigation, they concluded that the occurrence was a duplication of the Rembrandt, not a reproduction. They agreed that they couldn’t differentiate between the two paintings

Emery:                         This would be an incredible scientific breakthrough.. Why isn’t it in the media?

Director:                      The panel decided that the results were too consequential to be

                                    announced without a careful study of its implications.

Emery:                         I see. And how do you know about it?

Director:                      The cost of operating the particle accelerator makes  the process of duplication very expensive. The panel decided to fund the process by duplicating a very limited number of paintings. They recruited three art dealers to discreetly sell several masterworks to trusted clients, who could be relied on to keep this procedure secret. One dealer was from Europe, one from Japan and I was selected as the American dealer.

Emery:                         Why didn’t they go through a museum or university? Wouldn’t

                                    that make the project more legitimate?

Director:                      That was a secondary consideration. They were afraid that news would leak.

Emery:                         So let me get this straight. You’re claiming that this Doctor

                                    Frankenstein….

Director:                      Fabricant.

Emery:                         Whatever. He actually duplicated paintings that are exactly

                                    identical to the originals?

Director:                      Yes.

Emery:                         Does that mean it’s like cloning?

Director:                      Not quite. The painting doesn’t have to grow up.

Emery:                         You’re joking, right?

Director:                      Yes.                                                                 

Emery:                         Can you prove what you told me?

Director:                      Of course.

Emery:                         Well go ahead then.

Director:                      I can’t do it myself….

Emery:                         Aha. I thought so.

Director:                      However, Doctor Fabricant and the panel can prove it.

Emery:                         You mean I can meet them?

Director:                      Of course. This is a bona fide offer, after you sign an agreement of confidentiality

Emery:                         Then you’re serious?

Director:                      Very.

Emery:                         Why me?

Director:                      The project requires a lot of money and that it be kept secret. You’re the kind of unique collector who would be appropriate.

Emery:                         What if I don’t want to participate after I meet the panel?

Director:                      That’s entirely your choice. You’ll just have to respect the confidentiality agreement.

Emery:                         How much will this cost me?

Director:                      Think of it this way. How much do you think the diptych would fetch at Sothebys?

Emery:                         A hundred million? Two hundred million? I couldn’t begin to calculate the amount.

Director:                      It will cost you thirty million.

Emery:                         Can I show it to anyone?

Director:                      Not until the panel goes public.

Emery:                         How long would that be?

Director:                      Several years, at least. Maybe more.

Emery:                         So after spending all that money, I can’t share the painting with anyone?

Director:                      That’s right.

Emery:                         I suppose you get your commission. The usual ten percent?

Director:                      That’s right.

Emery:                         You seem very sure that I’ll do this.

Director:                      I am. I know how much you love Van Eyck.                                

Emery:                         How do I know that they won’t keep duplicating the painting I buy?                                                                                            

Director:                      There’ll be a contract that I’m certain will satisfy you.

Emery:                         Well let’s have that paper. (Director hands Emery a paper which

                                    he signs.) When can I meet this panel?

Director:                      How about sometime early next week?

Emery:                         Tuesday. Nine A.M.

Director:                      I’ll confirm that to you by the end of the day.

Emery:                         Are you absolutely sure it’s just like the original?

Director:                      It’s not like the original. It is the original.

Emery:                         Then I guess we’re finished for the time being. I’ll look forward to hearing from you later. (exit.)

Director:                      I don’t know who’s crazier, he or Doctor Frankenstein. I’m no

scientist, so I don’t know how a duplicate can be an original. But for ten percent of thirty million, what do I care? By the time these lunatic scientists and collectors sort everything out, I’ll be long gone and living on the Riviera. Let the rest of the world squabble about the difference between a duplicate and an original.