Edward Lee Poetry

I seek asylum
from myself, but
where can I go
that does not involve
walking across
the broken borders of alcohol,
or the splintered languages of medication?
Where can I go
to escape the madness
of myself, the crashing destruction
of my mind, the taste
of blood in my dreaming mouth?
Where can I go
when there is nowhere to go
but outside of myself,
permanently out,
leaving the little good
I know behind forever,
becoming the enemy
I have always known myself to be?

It is only now, with
hindsight stealing the false colours
from my memories of the past,
that I realise the poison
you sneaked into me
with your passionate kisses
over all our years,
meaning to build an immunity
within my being, so your absence
might not destroy me
when you left, as you
always knew you would,
you not the woman
to be held on to
by anyone, least of all
a man like me;
but let me tell you,
your plan did not work,
for I am a man now destroyed,
while poison bulges
the shrunken chambers
of my once vibrant heart.
Thought you were haunting me,
but realised no one
had told you
you had died,
the correct words unsought.
When I told you the truth,
your tears wounded me
more than your spectral presence ever did;
you had to turn your back,
head tilted to the summer sky,
before you could accept
your fate, your shoulders shaking
into nothingness,
your shadow remaining,
cast heavy and hard
across my own fading form.

Edward Lee’s poetry, short stories, non-fiction and photography have been published in magazines in Ireland, England and America, including The Stinging Fly, Skylight 47, Acumen and Smiths Knoll.  His debut poetry collection “Playing Poohsticks On Ha’Penny Bridge” was published in 2010. He is currently working towards a second collection.
He also makes musical noise under the names Ayahuasca Collective, Lewis Milne, Orson Carroll, Blinded Architect, Lego Figures Fighting, and Pale Blond Boy.
His blog/website can be found at https://edwardmlee.wordpress.com


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