K.T. Slattery

  If Only My Mother
If only my mother had been a pimp,
Raised me with no self-respect,
I could have been a reality star
With extensions and still upright breasts.
If only my mother had taught me my worth
Was tied to Gucci and Prada
I could have inspired a million young girls
To fill their head with nada.
If only my mother had explained success-
That it starts and ends with Twitter.
A million followers I could have had,
Applauding my useless titter.
If only my mother had not
Introduced me to Dickens and Poe
I could be Queen of the Sheep right now,
Or, at least, their C.E.O.
If only my mother had never said,
“Marry someone smarter than you.”
I could be on my fourth or fifth,
But my first will have to do.
If only my mother had been a pimp,
How different my life would be.
Instead of wasting my time on this poem,
I’d be famous and always debt free.

Sympathy for Sisyphus
Empty. Load.
Empathy for Arachne
Sort. Load.
Pity for Prometheus
Press start. Press start.
Downright affinity with the Danaides
Fold. Put away.
Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
Looking at the never ending
Pile of clothes
Odd socks
I wonder how I have angered the gods
And I understand
Why their greatest punishment
Was monotony.

K.T. Slattery was born in Memphis, Tennessee, and grew up just across the state line in Mississippi. A graduate of Spring Hill College in Mobile, Alabama, she now lives in the West of Ireland with her husband and an ever-increasing amount of rescue pets.

Twitter: @KTSlattery1


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