Alan Catlin

Alan Catlin has several new books in the works including a long series of noir movie poems concluding with three chapbooks in one book under the title Exterminating Angels from Kelsay for mid-year 2022. he also has two chapbooks coming soon as well: Satan’s Kiss from Gutter Snob ad Dream Rider from Orchard Street Press.

My first marriage was

A disaster, I know you’re
probably thinking: how 
couldn’t it be? A nice Jewish
girl from Hewlett marries the son
of a WWII German solider?
Her parents were like, “Sharon,
how could you? You hate us so much
you marry a Nazi.”  He was no
Nazi, he was conscripted. He was
a reluctant soldier. Still, you knew
you weren’t going to change their 
minds. And my mom was worse. 
My mom hates all men in general but 
she really hates me in particular.
So, we moved up here to get away
from the parents and give ourselves
a chance. Not that it worked out.
Not that I loved her, really. I only
married her because she had big tits
and I wanted to get laid a lot. Man, 
she was desperate to get out of town 
and she would do anything to get out.
I mean absolutely anything. It was great.
So doesn’t mom move up her to be
closer to my sister and the grandkids.
It’s the best of both worlds for mom:
she gets to babysit and fill a whole new
generation with hate and prejudice 
and she gets to torment me any time 
she wants. Well, you can imagine
how that worked out.  Badly. My marriage
went kaput and Sharon moved out. 
No more getting laid regular. 
Last, I heard she was still living with
her parents.
 

My second marriage

Was way better than
the first. I married a woman
from my church.  You should 
come to our church.  It’s a great
place. We sing and hold
hands and pray and everyone
loves each other. Just what
I needed when I was down.
No, well, the only problem
with my marriage was my
wife’s teenaged daughter
from a previous relationship.
The girl resented me on sight.
Hated me. You can tell these
things. Somewhere along 
the line she accused me of 
molesting her. And I was arrested.
It was humiliating. The whole
experience has been a nightmare.
Now my mother and my sister
won’t answer my calls.
I lost my job and I can’t find
steady work and it isn’t over yet.
But I still have my church.
I go even more than I used to.
Sometimes, I think people look at
me differently than they used to.
I don’t know. How can that be?
I’m still the same person I was.
It’s probably just my imagination.

Grand Reopening

Outside the convenience store
Grand Reopening, the down
on his luck man of indeterminate
age, looked glum.
“What’s not to like?” I said.
“More gas pumps, piped in music
while you fuel, better lights,
fresh blacktop and an expanded
selection of goods inside easily
perused on wider, cleaner aisles.”
“What about increased security?”
“That too.” I said.
“Yeah, but they chased away all
the parking lot hookers. I miss that.
They’re just not a full-service store
anymore.”

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